self-realization begins

suspended aimlessly
deep within
a pool of despair
drunk as an alcoholic
longingly dependent
upon that drink
despite the ill effect
called hangover
so knowingly
filled with melancholy   ~
despairingly trapped
within a cycle
habitual in behavior
through time
irrational and emotional
mind paralysis
destructive in mood
helplessly awaiting
wanting release
a break in the pattern
from this recurrent
dismal quandary
bent on achieving
a self-disapproval   ~
repressed perilously
suppressed within
from a hell-bound guilt
kindled subconsciously
on a façade
that reinforces
self-replicating doubt
fostered endlessly
during the throws
of collective influence
with its derivative
socially embedded
conditioning
postulating deviation
as an abnormality   ~
bombastically flogged
within passivity
bewildered
perplexed
as to the complex
process of chaotic mind
feeling downtrodden
at rock bottom
self-realization begins
from undergoing
the lived experience
the mental
the emotional
the spiritual
and the physical
degradation of it all
self-disillusion
cleanses by purging
oneself of its guilt
leaving nothing else
but self-acceptance   ~
freeing self-inhibitions
overtime within
the tutorship
of self-acceptance
enhancing willpower
to rise above the fray
using self-empathy
by learning
through knowing
self-acknowledgment
self-understanding
and self-compassion
coming to self-realize
that a jacked-up mind
always thinking
never wanting to rest
cyclically undergoing
highs and lows
ups and downs
eventually
spiraling down
crash landing
from exhaustion
splashing
sinking into
suffering for awhile
a depressive slump
a certain moodiness
after a relentless
firing of circuitry
during your own
process of mind
inside your brain
is nothing other than
a progressively
intelligent
self-evolution
self-accepted for now
as one’s very special
yet somewhat different
abnormalities normality

peace out

Words by   ~Keith Alan Hamilton~

look at me

look at me
my outward contour
the physical me
how I move my body
how I speak my words
how I try hopelessly
to sit quietly, alone
yet mumbling to myself
or how I try in vain
to stand upright
and still
forlornly,
begrudgingly
while I practice the art
revealing my unique
style of relinquishing
rebelliousness
to the subduing hands
of social conformity
momentarily
seconds,
right before I say
the hell with this
damn it all,
I’m fuckin’
out of here    ~
peer then into my eyes
for one little moment
through the window
noticing my mind
me thinking
thoughts
spinning like a top
twirling,
whirring
as if some blender
programmed forever
just to churn away
on and on
seemingly resistant to
side stepping
along the way
apparently in avoidance
to that unidentifiable
insipidly bland
swamp of puree   ~
then go deeper
listen to
my heart beat
its bloody rhythm
its heartfelt concern
not entirely for me
but that circulating
care and hope
throughout me
brewing in my veins
wanting the best
the most possible
to happen,
to come about
for all things
for all else
whether it be
the living
or the nonliving
within the physical
or the nonphysical
so deemed as Nature   ~
seeing then more of me
than my shell
wherefore
feeling my energy
the vibrancy held
as me, individualized
beneath the glow
of my human aura
and yet only
viewing a glimpse
a brief snapshot
of my body
of my character
of my spirit
of my soul
me being as I am
living my journey
not the whole
the totality
or my complete life
just teeny little,
tiny bits
as fragments
left there behind
before everyone
who wants to know
who I was
who I came to be
who I now am
as I live, lived
and will continue to live
my life, my way
within the space of
my time
living among and together
with everything
I experience as all else
when and while
all else looked at me

peace out

Words by    ~Keith Alan Hamilton~

I see before me

I see before me
the clouds
floating about
the deep blue sky
along the horizon
saturated with
golden rays of sun
shedding light
upon the waters
feeding the tributary
of which
brings nourishment
to the land`
the ground
of dirt and rock
above
and beneath
where vegetation
like the tree has root
helping to oxygenate
all those creatures
with a capacity
for the breath of life
who continually
self-produce in kind
so to replenish
those lost to death
to fulfill a purpose
a need with a will
that’s fighting
and struggling
only to be
for that reason
having the want
this spirit to survive   ~
therein
as to this spirit
its wanting
and all I perceive
I see before me
that why
the how come
for all this living

peace out

Words by   ~Keith Alan Hamilton~

just because

no matter if my spirit
wanders with a desire
for independence
to be free
like the eagle
soaring about
the mountain top
becoming the master
of the wind   ~
in spite of my spirit
not having this need
a yearning
to be coddled
as if some baby
birthed unexpectedly
from the comfort
of a mother’s womb
suddenly sensing
abandonment‘s
bare insecurity   ~
regardless if my spirit
fills my body
to the brim
sort of like water
within the glass
waiting to sustain
a thirst from exploits
of which
through sheer will
has hopefully given
more to others
than what was
taken to quench
personal cravings   ~
just because

just because my spirit
stirs in such
a manner
not so unlike
the explorer
seeking to uncover
to discover
the hidden
mysteries of Nature
not for the fortune
or the fame
rather for
the advancement
the future
betterment of all
doesn’t mean
I have not a wanting
to be the giver
or the receiver of love   ~
just because

just because of my spirit
I have yet
to really know
to discover
“the love”
that one
like the round hole
as the augmenter
for the square peg
that not only
receives my love
but a love
that is interested in
the loving of my spirit   ~
just because

peace out

Words by   ~Keith Alan Hamilton~

wallowing in the mire

I’m for the living
not that dying thingy
gotta like moving
and doing something
over laying around stiff
and doing nothing
with the beef jerky
look going on
wasting time
getting
riper than ripe
where smelling
is the purpose
along with
rotting to the bone   ~
I prefer the living thingy
smelling the roses
sweating after doing
the down and dirty
sort of like that pig
wallowing in the mire
just to feed
from that
barnyard trough
only to
relish in the
crap of the day
‘cause living is better
than basking in the dark
of that damn coffin
being lowered
at the end of the day
into that motionless
bottomless
and as far as time
perpetual abyss

peace out

Words by   ~Keith Alan Hamilton~

‘don’t tread on me’

being raised in the twentieth century
the late fifties to early seventies
within the farmlands of mid-Michigan
surrounded by fields growing
navy beans, sugar beets, and corn
with those painted barns having yards
smelling of pigs, cows, chickens and geese
while I was undergoing
a self-transformation,
a self-realization
that I was to become a mystic
who would observe
from a spiritual context
of a lesser predisposition
the emergence of
recurrent patterns of process
within Nature
I,
me as the individual
a person living a childhood
was taught through example
by my Scot Irish, German/Polish family
descendants of my ancestors
some who fought in the bath of blood
for the purpose
that right for an ideal called freedom
during the American Revolutionary War
I was told
we try to live with others
by the code of
DON’T TREAD ON ME
like don’t tread upon
that rattlesnake
pictured in a coil on the Gadsden flag
and too,
my family
believed wholeheartedly in the phrase,
Give me Liberty, or give me Death
those fervent words spoken by Patrick Henry
on March 23rd 1775 at the Virginia convention
that motivated the calling out
of the people present and in agreement,
To arms! To arms!”   ~

under the guidance of these assertions
I was taught to act toward
as well as get along with
my neighbors,
my community,
those of another state
and those living across our borders
even if of a different
name,
gender,
race,
belief,
culture,
tradition
or national heritage
I was to treat all people
like the way of the rattlesnake
as it was found to be way back when
living before on the land
that would later become America
of which whose behavior
the relevant traits of its character
was aptly described in the words
by the “American Guesser
more than likely Ben Franklin:
She never begins an attack,
nor, when once engaged,
ever surrenders:
She is therefore an emblem of
magnanimity and true courage. …
she never wounds ’till she has
generously given notice,
even to her enemy,
and cautioned him against
the danger of treading on her.
so in like manner
my family did not
intentionally tread on,
intrude into the ways and lives
of others,
unless the other asked or
was in dire need
or unless my family
their ways ,
their lives
were somehow
someway,
tread upon by another   ~

also when growing up
I was told it was proper
to be a proud American
to be proud of what
we are trying to become
continually without deviation
while being human
and at times falling short
as to the standard set
within our high expectation
even so,
despite our weaknesses
we still tried to live up to
what our people had fought for
the right of the individual
blessed with
a liberty called freedom
as it applied to the person
where a person of self-responsibility
is held responsible
according to
their acts and deeds,
actions resultant from
having a freedom of choice
the individual
having a right to choose
therefore
and therein
learning through experience
by living the decisions they’ve made   ~

it was believed by my family
this right for the individual
was not the same right
to be given to some group,
as in a culture,
race,
gender,
government,
etc.,
‘cause the way my family thought
was that our people had left homelands
in the late sixteen hundreds
and early seventeen hundreds
while crossing the sea at great risk
to a “New World
so they could live differently,
to be themselves
according to their ways
and because of this
at least to my family
it was no longer as important
to be identified or linked to our roots
as being Scottish,
English,
German
or Polish
I was to be an American
a person with rights
with a right to choose
that respected the rights,
the freedoms
and beliefs of
We the people
recognized as
my fellow Americans,
every one of them
that person
as an individual citizen
each and every person
all those that volunteered
without coercion
or threat of life,
who willingly
joined to become a united nation
a society built upon
an ideal of liberty
procuring the development
of individuality
as it relates to freedom of choice
where the individual
through their own efforts
has a greater chance for success
as they see fit
not as another sees fit
while we cohabited
living alongside
with a diversity of others
believing in the same ideal
as to liberty
as a collectivity of cooperative individuals
who accept and have a mutual tolerance
for each other,
regardless   ~

and yet
my family blessed to have
this kind of freedom
felt sort of uneasy
and rightly so,
about losing their liberty
fearing that overtime
in the face of
the history of
past behavior
the acts of humanity
once again
might repeat itself
maybe not quite in the same way
wherefore being
slightly different
yet still an offspring to
or a cousin to
the inevitable and eroding
spirit of mob mentality
to be able to
to assemble
attract ripe minds
around similar wants and desires
to obtain a popular representation
that would foster
and gain leverage for its cause
about some agreed upon way of opinion,
point-of-view
or a particular way of
perceiving life as it should be
especially as this kind of mentality,
grows in popularity
to the point of doing
as this type of
herd mentality sees fit   ~

as I’ve learned
come to experience
while growing up
and observing types of process
within Nature like this
those who are lured to
this manner of mind,
have a way of forming
a reliance to an alliance
a group of individuals,
constructed and mustered
to be persuasive through sheer number
as in a business association,
organization,
whether it be religious based
or a social movement
supporting a particular race and/or gender
or a lobbyist group
within the political arena
apparently to
seemingly having
the main intent to influence,
to pressure others
into restricting
the life choices of other individuals
all those people,
who live their lives
not being of a like kind of mind
as like them
that group
of which tries
to make those different
comply,
by way of
a forced compliance
no matter if their way as a group
is deemed
not to be right
by another individual
though in all fairness
and
understandably so
these groups with causes
can be of noble origin
founded upon the trials and tribulations
suffered
during the struggle to live with others
and because of a need
to be identified in a certain way
that to me,
these wants and desires of an individual
to belong to something
should not be made into
a point of judgment
or contention by the individual
because others have the right
to live as they please
through a civil manner in America   ~

however,
for some
due to the vanity arising
from a group of people
having the sole mentality
of a perceived rightness
as to a way of belief or ideology
they disassociate themselves
into the realm of bias
and tunnel vision
excluding other ways
brought forth through
the process of individual choice
while they ensnare
along the way
all those
who are susceptible by way of
an intellectual disposition
of which being based upon
the sense of being well-educated
to lend the group support
through scholarly guidance
by way of a superficial
realm of intelligence
as if bequeathed
with a divinely mandated stature
to instruct all individuals
considered to be less in the know
that possess a more feeble mind
not capable of
progressing intelligently
at their own pace
or quick enough
to achieve the right way
as deemed appropriate by the group
no longer wanting to
wait on that person,
to naturally live and learn
from the experience
they individually make
while living with others
through life choices   ~

it is then
it so seems
out of sheer disappointment
as to the self-development of
the individual
these kind of groups
whatever form they take
and yet acting in a similar manner
whether to be
acting as one group
or a collection of groups together
they convert themselves
into having
an escalated tendency
of falling head-on
face first
into the droves of impatience
and the throngs of intolerance
for all persons
towards all individuals
of which,
they, this grouping
act as if
a wannabe authoritarian
through a sales job notoriety
identifying and labeling all those
all those still
who remain inflexible
to the group’s
wished-for ways
it appears then
at this climax of mob
or herd mentality
at this heighten apex of
grandiose enlightenment
they, this grouping
those dressed up
to appear
as a majority representative,
seemingly sanctified
covering over their predisposition
they look as if to be justified,
now worthy enough to enlist
call upon the people’s servant
and forsworn protector of liberty
that ideal of freedom
embodying basic rights
for the individual
a person’s right of choice
not meant for the mob
assembling a group with a cause
and yet this slave
is now primed by the herd
the government
and its branches within
the republic’s jurisdiction
to enact laws
that will temper the behavior
of all individuals that dare not conform   ~

wherefore and wherein
at this time
during these occurrences
it is demonstrated
for all of a receptive
and not a predisposed mind
to observe the reaction
the end result of
when laws are over-relied upon
used beyond the extent
and original intent of the people’s
envisioned purpose
as a regulatory process
or jurisprudence
altered
to sequester a certain way
being enforced through
a restrictive manner levied by law
instead of holding fast
to the conviction
that an individual being
guaranteed certain inalienable rights
overtime,
as I’ve written previously,
where a person of self-responsibility
is held responsible
according to
their acts and deeds,
actions resultant from
having a freedom of choice
the individual
having a right to choose
therefore
and therein
learning through experience
by living the decisions they’ve made
would eventually become
the type of individual
that’s trying to be forced
through a short cut approach
with a tire patch,
quick fix agenda
incited by a mob mentality
that’s being reinforced by the law   ~

after which
this escalated process
will become to be perceived
as I’ve related to in the past
as to the motivation for
building our nation upon
taken as an outright infringement
upon the code of
DON’T TREAD ON ME
by our present day patriots
who flow with the blood
the blood of those patriots
of days gone by
who spawned the ideology
the root character of America
that spirit of liberty with its freedom
those patriots
who assembled at a tea party in Boston
to stand up against exploitative regulations
and taxation gone a-rye
through the repulsive act
of treading upon the people
and too
as these modern laws get enacted
that appear to tread upon
the rights of the people as individuals
these seemingly despotic acts
will be remembered by the patriots of today
as emblematic of
a foregone monarchy
eventually fought against,
to be freed from its constraints forever
released from a self-appointed authority’s
oppressive ways and
repressive discriminatory actions
of which this rebellion
eventually led
to the proclamation by Lincoln,
at Gettysburg
outlining the intrinsic characteristic
for governance,
as being a
government of the people,
by the people,
for the people
and as aforementioned
a government with laws
not for: “a group of individuals….
a business association,
organization,
whether it be religious based
or a social movement
supporting a particular race and/or gender
or a lobbyist group
within the political arena
but a government with laws
enacted “for the people
designed to protect the individual rights of,
each and every person
all those that volunteered
without coercion
or threat of life,
who willingly
joined to become a united nation
a society built upon
an ideal of liberty
procuring the development
of individuality
as it relates to freedom of choice
where the individual
through their own efforts
has a greater chance for success
as they see fit”   ~

I can only assume,
these modern day patriots
who rightly feel their individuality
is once again being tread upon
will exhibit the traits of the rattlesnake
exemplified by the patriots of old
they will give notice through protests
demonstrating their right to free speech
insisting the government,
their appointed civil servant
follow without deviation,
rather than follow the influence
of a predisposed mentality
contrary to the basic laws instituted
but to follow and do its sworn duty
to protect
and to insure the individual’s
not some groups
inalienable rights as to a liberty
with its freedom of choice
so a phrase like:
Give me Liberty, or give me Death
will remain a phrase of the past
and not some call, “To arms! To arms!” ~

my words above
at best
aren’t meant to be
some yay or nay
they are just
the way
I see it
as a mystic
who tries to observe
from a spiritual context
of a lesser predisposition
the emergence of
recurrent patterns of process
within Nature

peace out

Words by   ~Keith Alan Hamilton~

pissed off exasperation

I’ve been fortunately
born to a body
possessing the genetics
so kindly blessed
with the unfamiliarity
as to the ways of illness
where sickness
is viewed by me
as if to be foreign
not at all normal
to my everyday routine
then suddenly
disguised as this infection
some virus called bronchitis
it makes its arrival
like a distant relative
knocking unsuspectingly
at the front door
without extending
the courtesy
of calling ahead
but choosing to give
no notice
allowing me
no time at all
for preparation
where I may
physically and mentally
make the adjustment
begin to grow accustom
to this unwelcome
act of intrusion
that’s being so
inconveniently forced
upon the sacred ground
of my bodily privacy
~    no wonder
this unwanted visitor
draws out of me
my hidden
and extremely unlikable
cantankerous disposition
due to not being used to
this state of ill-being
where continually
I’m wheezing ,
coughing
and aching all over
to the point of
pissed off exasperation
dreading to be sick for
another moment

peace out

Words by    ~Keith Alan Hamilton~

to be a father

within a decade, my twenties,
I became a father three times
scared,
oh yeah,
no training manual to prepare me
looking back at those pictures
of myself,
I looked and felt
so young then
man,
what an honor
and yet
a truly incredible responsibility
how did I do it all
I really,
really don’t know
I just got up and did it each day
as I knew how   ~
~    somehow,
somewhere,
I found the strength
deep down inside me
I only had the example
of my father,
some things he did
I swore,
not to do
and boy oh boy
did I make mistakes
later to tell my father I now knew
and respected him more
for what he did
you do the best you can,
making decisions
that others won’t like
your family counts on you
while taking for granted
the security you give them   ~
~    well you ask me
to be a good father
I can only shrug my shoulders
where, where do I begin
if you are already on the journey
I can only sympathize with you
not judge you
and if you are not a father yet,
you’ll fret
and worry
while finding a way, somehow
for being a father
is truly an experience worth living
lasting in its value
a whole lifetime
so from one father to another
the wisest thing I can tell you is,
how proud I am
to truly be among our kind

“The most humbling honor I’ve had in life, is to be a father; whether I’m a good one or not is for my children to decide; and yet, I’m forever grateful for this opportunity bestowed as a blessing by the creator of life, ‘cause I’m giving fatherhood all that my heart and soul can give.”

peace out

Words by ~Keith Alan Hamilton~