INDIVIDUAL {I}/me

The INDIVIDUAL {I}/me, appears/seems {a/s} or at least in my mind to be undergoing a so-called INDIVIDUAL {I}SELF experience
rooted inside/within {i/w}
a HUMAN structure/stricture
body
with this embodied
life/mind equals/=
cognition/emotion
ebb
and flow/process
of cooperative
relationship/connection ~ network
{i/w} my nested
personal and collective system
(sphere/boundary/bubble)
of unconsciousness ~ consciousness
(unawareness to awareness)
or what I call in totality,
my ~ {I}SELF ~ inner/outer ~ beingness.

My own particular {op} – {I}SELF
inner/outer ~ beingness,
{a/s} to have these inherent types of
trait/disposition/tendency.
For instance, it {a/s} – I have this inherent
weary/old ~ soul/spirit
from this
seeker/observer ~
wonderer/ponderer ~
fretter/rethinker behavior
especially, regarding my
ideas/opinions/views
of conceptualized
thoughts/words/creations
and so on …..
and yet, beyond
periods of discouragement/disillusionment – the {I}/me, still wants to find/learn/know,
and I also yearn for, as if prodded
from my {op}
memory/data/info ~ energy ~ soul/spirit
for/about some
elusive/transient ~
resilient/adaptive ~
transitional/transformational ~
emergent ~ ebb and flow/process
of {I}SELF.
It {a/s} this {I}SELF has an undying WANT to integrate the {I}/me into the wholeness of this authentic yet HUMAN and maturated discernment type of temperament,
which seems or appears to bring forth this more
rooted/centered/stabilized
inner/outer ~ beingness
that {a/s} to becoming
more and more
{I}SELF ~
responsible/accountable/reliant
over ~ time …..

At least, it somewhat seems or appears my ~ {I}SELF chosen
manner/way
in spite of being on a planet/earth that undergoes the dynamic/complex environmental conditions of a subjected IMPERMANENCE
inside/within
what I refer to in totality/WHOLE
(sphere/boundary/bubble)
as NATURE with its predominantly
recurrent/cyclical
patterns or systemic WAY …..
a WAY
with this ebb
and flow/process
SYSTEM ~ nested hierarchy that includes NATURE’S
WAY of containment/restraint/influence
as if a kind of enacted imprisonment ~ and too ~ its WAY for CHANGE through periods of enacted destabilization ~
disruption/breakdown/destruction,
which NATURE’S WAY
again and again through the annuls of time
enacts reductions/ENDINGS
and even rebirths
of all that appears/seems to have a BEGINNING
(the known or yet to be known ~ the living and nonliving)
and NATURE,
quite possibly – had/still has its origination from a creative source(s) …..

….. maybe, considered a little bit too long-winded ….. so, a pause ….. ~peace out~

Consequently, after much struggle through effort {i/w} my ~ {I}SELF absorption into such inner/outer ~ beingness matters, my early/middle years have literally been “whisked away.” Totally unprepared, the later years of life (since 2020/Covid) were upon me and have brought more into focus my experience with {FSHD} (facioscapulohumeral muscular dystrophy) and my overactive experience with empathy. {FSHD} – its process/progression had accelerated to the point of forcing me to retire early (2021). Also, in a physically expressive way – {FSHD} has reduced my mobility and energy level to where I can no longer be a social activist performance artist as once before.

Too, at this time of energy ~
reduction/depletion ….. the {I}/me – had to more seriously consider the role my overactive empathy was contributing to my overall
body/mind/emotional
forms of exhaustion.
This as well has led to a deeper understanding of how my
hypersensitive
/over ~ functioning
empathy,
the cause/effect
of its overactivity …..
lent a hand to what
I call ~
my Abnormalities Normality
with resultant mental/physical lows
and moments/bouts
of intuitive experience,
the {I}/me – seems or appears
to have been more susceptible to this during my early/middle years …..

These types of challenge to the {I}/me – along with others in the later years have no doubt helped me to sense/feel/intuit ~
perceive/see/view ~
learn/know/realize
then discern more fully about
things/matters/issues
through the lens of my {op} MEANING
while becoming/being
this more
responsible/accountable/reliant
{I}SELF
as it related to its – integrated
rooted/centered/stabilized
inner/outer ~ beingness
type of wholeness …..

….. So, it does seem or appear to be the HUMAN reality/experience
of the INDIVIDUAL {I}/me.

Though of late, it {a/s} the {I}/me has more and more of a WANT to be less
overly attached/dependent to/on
a planet/earth
that undergoes
the dynamic/complex
environmental conditions of a subjected IMPERMANENCE.

It does seem or appear in later years ….. the {I}/me has become
less and less
enabled/naive to/toward NATURE
and become more and more
attached/dependent ~
responsible/accountable/reliant ~
rooted/centered/stabilized
to my ~ {I}SELF.
For instance/especially for,
a progression toward
the increased longevity/survival
(safety/security/freedom)
of my {op}{I}SELF
HUMAN structure/stricture body
and its inner/outer ~ beingness.

Also this WANT for a more
authentic/ordinary ~
simplified/minimalist
existence
with more and more
potentiality/possibility
not for just on, but also
under/above and beyond/off
the surface of a planet/earth that {a/s} {i/w} NATURE’S
systemic totality/WHOLE (sphere/boundary/bubble) …..

….. so, the way it does seem or appear at the moment to the {I}/me
and yet/however ~
my memory/data/info ~ energy
weary/old ~ soul/spirit
{a/s} to have behaviorally become over ~ time
more and more
bored/exasperated
and impatient/obstinate
with/toward NATURE’S
dynamic/complex
environmental conditions of a subjected IMPERMANENCE ~
this birth into imprisonment then death experience
of beingness/existence.

It {a/s} to the {I}/me, my memory/data/info ~ energy weary/old ~ soul/spirit, yearns for a HUMAN ~ {I}SELF ~ PERMANENCE (of course, others of the living/nonliving as well) …..

….. maybe, considered a little bit too long-winded ….. so, a pause …..

….. a PERMANENCE that not only survives {i/w} – but even outside/beyond NATURE’S systemic totality/WHOLE
(sphere/boundary/bubble) of imprisonment …….

….. such lofty expectations, I know ~ for the INDIVIDUAL {I}/me.

{~KAH~} ~peace out~

Slavery in America Image with Words Collection ~ Virginia Edition