at times ~ I fully feel
the loneliness
a sort of abandonment
deep within my being
penetrating the depths
of my mortality ~
I stand as naked
pale as a corpse
mentally subdued
as if to be
dead to all else
where no one
knows of ~
this plight
my downtrodden ways
of suffocating despair
neither at all
am I to find ~
a single bit of concern
within the reach
of what comprises
the bleak silhouette
shadowing ~
my somber disposition
~ ~
as I wrestle ~
struggle within the realm
known to me as darkness
I find ~
my right
to acceptance
for being the way I am
without the stigma of guilt
upon my back ~
nor the need for pity
shown from those
who have no capacity
for real understanding
beyond ~
the quick fix remedy
and the proverbial scold
‘get over it’
echoing
its empty council
proclaiming a time limit
as to the affairs
plaguing my morose
condition
whatever ~
I’ve dwelt in the pit before
alone ~
and
I know my way about
its catacombs
filled with an anguish
designed to be debilitating
so to prevent my escape
of which I’ve done
many ~ many times
to the chagrin of my keeper
and because of such
I have no doubt ~
once again
I’ll rise up
from this grave
smothering me slowly
with this ~
heavy melancholy
yes ~ I will
with all I can muster
I’ll fight my way back
into the comfort of day
letting it saturate
my mind
with those light rays
of hope
lifting my weaken spirit
giving it a renewed vision
to walk once more
as I recall ~ remember
upon the land ~ as the living
“For me anyhow, mental lows are the aftereffect upon my entire body drained from a high-functioning mind begging for some rest; it ain’t no illness, but a natural, cyclical response to the ongoing process of mind within my body; I’ve accepted this and feel no guilt for me being me.”
peace out
~Keith Alan Hamilton~